


and i know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile

by nosecoffee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Break Up?, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gender Changes, Ham and Burr are girls, Modern AU, Thanksgiving, aka Aaron and Alex are bad at communicating, friends with benefits arrangement, i tried guys, idk - Freeform, undiscussed relationship status, vaguely explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Aaron pulls her down and rolls over to pin Alex to the bed. The frame squeaks under them and Aaron winces. "Let's not talk about my grandmother in bed, okay?" Alex doesn't answer, but she doesn't need to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Does Your Mother Know' by ABBA
> 
> This was written from a prompt on Tumblr.

They have an easy friendship.

  
A little more affectionate than the ones from Aaron's past, but it's better than cold shoulders and icy glares and the general coldness that existed between Aaron and any other person that wasn't Alex.

  
And Alex was inherently warm.

  
Maybe that's why Aaron was drawn to her.

  
It doesn't matter, she thinks. Alex is there, and that's all that matters.

~

It's not even like the first time it's intentional. At least, not on Aaron's part.

  
No.

  
The first time, she's trying to study when Alex puts a hand on her thigh and Aaron has to lower the screen of her laptop to look the other girl in the eye.

  
"Um," she says, and moves the laptop to the side completely. Alex's hand slides up to the hem of her shorts and Aaron doesn't make any move to stop her.

  
It's at about the moment when she's digging her fingers into the carpet, back digging painfully into the gap between drawers on her dresser, Alex's nails pressing into the skin of her ass, that she wonders how she'd gotten here.

~

Alex's nails had been sharp enough to cut her. Aaron wonders if it's because of Alex's nail-biting habit. Or whether she was really holding onto Aaron that hard.

  
Her ass is still tender a few days later.

~

The second time, she's sure it's an accident, because Alex would never intentionally walk into Aaron's bathroom, knowing that she was standing there, naked.

  
She still ends up pressed against the wall, hands grasping and pulling at Alex's hair as she does something with her tongue that makes Aaron's knees buckle.

~

Aaron starts to wonder if it means anything, or if Alex is just trying to blow off steam.

  
They never really say anything afterwards, so she has all the time in the world to ask, but she never does.

  
Another thing to start wondering about, she thinks.

~

The third time, well.

  
The third time, she's sure that Alex means it to be more than casual sex (which Aaron would be up for, even if it meant that Alex didn't speak to her otherwise).

  
Because they're with Aaron's extended family for Thanksgiving and they hardly make it to the guest bedroom - the one with the blow-up mattress that Aaron's very Catholic aunt had put up for Aaron's 'lovely friend from school' - before Alex is trying to unbutton both their blouses at the same time.

  
"I was ready to tell your grandma about the time I ate you out in your bathroom when she asked you about a boyfriend." Alex gasps, pushing Aaron down onto the flowery comforter.

  
"You would have given her a heart attack." Aaron pants back as Alex pushes her skirt up to her stomach.

  
"It would've been funny, though."

  
Aaron pulls her down and rolls over to pin Alex to the bed. The frame squeaks under them and Aaron winces. "Let's not talk about my grandmother in bed, okay?"

  
Alex doesn't answer, but she doesn't need to.

~

They share the bed, never mind that the blow-up mattress deflates at some point in the night.

  
No one seems to think any things off, the next morning, but Sally sends Aaron questioning looks over breakfast, which she strategically ignores.

~

They fall into bed at a party, more drunk than they'd like to admit, and climb out the window, running hell-for-leather down the street afterwards so that no one sees them.

  
They end up sitting beside each other on the curb of a gas station, eating their respective chocolate bars, and buzzing with the adrenaline the alcohol supplied them with.

  
"Not to be homophobic, but that was pretty gay." Alex eventually says.

  
Aaron looks at her. She's never really thought about her sexuality, not in great detail, anyway, but Alex makes her feel different.

  
She's not sure if it's good different yet.

  
"Yeah," she agrees, letting a laugh linger in her voice. "It was."

  
Alex punches her arm, playfully.

~

"Are you alright?" Alex asks, one night, her tone slurred with sleep.

  
It's one of the nights where Aaron can't sleep and the walls are too close and her throat tightens at the thought that perhaps Alex isn't there, after all.

  
That, perhaps, it's all just a crazy dream.

  
Aaron stares at the ceiling. "Am I ever?" She replies, her own voice barely a murmur.

  
Alex frowns at her and rolls her over so she can spoon her. "Alright, adding to the list of shitty sex/pillow talk, no existentialism."

  
It almost makes Aaron smile.

~

Inevitably, it goes downhill, as fast as it went uphill - at least, it seems that way for Aaron - ending similarly to how it started.

  
Aaron has no idea what they were arguing about in the beginning, but now it's not exactly nothing. Aaron senses the end at the same time that Alex seems to and maybe it's the look that they share, or maybe they have some kind of telepathy that Aaron never picked up on before, but they suddenly realise that they'll never have this again, if they continue down this road.

  
To their destruction.

  
And they know that there's no turning back, now.

  
Aaron lets Alex surge to her - after all, Alex has always been the one that started it - welcomes her to her arms and to her bed once again - for the last time, she wonders vaguely - and it ends messily and Aaron's crying, and when Alex leaves, she's half heartbroken and half relieved.

~

It takes her a month to realise that she never actually knew what she had with Alex was classified as, but, at that point, it's too late to ask.

~

That's the first time she cries since Alex walked out.

~

A month later, Aaron decides that she doesn't care. Not anymore, at least.

~

Inevitably - oh yes, everything in Aaron's life does have the habit of being inevitable - Alex shows up at her door, baring takeout and her laptop bag.

  
Aaron lets her in with a tense look, but it melts, slowly, during the evening.

  
So, perhaps, it doesn't have to end.

  
Not just yet, anyway.

  
Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a kudos and a comment (if you like) and track me down on Tumblr @nose-coffee. Again, thank you!


End file.
